this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
