As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
