I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
