I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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