so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
