I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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