Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
