did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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