He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
