Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
