the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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