I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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