i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
