i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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