Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i think i just lost a toe
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
