He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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