dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
