soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
