so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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