Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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