Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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