Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize