This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
