there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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