You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
