Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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