He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
two words...techno handjob
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
