I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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