He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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