How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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