well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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