Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
