Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
