Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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