My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
