walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
