why didn't you poke me back
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
