when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
