we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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