I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
