So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She announced her abortion via fbk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
