We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
