whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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