How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
