Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
