Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just found puke in my bra..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
