First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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