I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
