I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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