So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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