so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
